Sharknado 5: Global Swarming’s Best Celebrity Cameos

Sharknado 5: Global Swarming’s Best Celebrity Cameos

Weather permitting, we’re hoping to bring you a report from our doppler radar about the best celebrity cameos from Sharknado 5: Global Swarming.

As the Sharknado became harder to navigate, the portals across the world opened up around the globe, from England, to the United States, to Egypt, to Australia. Not a single spot on the globe was safe and not a single celebrity could escape its fury.

Nichelle Nichols is one of our favorite stars of all time, known for her role as Lt. Uhura on Star Trek: The Original Series. She took a great leap in rank to become Secretary General of NATO, just when the world needed her most.

Chris Kattan, known for his dramatic role on nothing and his comedy roles on SNL and The Middle, makes his Sharknado debut as the Prime Minister of Britain, of course. I smell an Emmy!!

With Britain in good hands politically, the crown could only be held by someone who would be fitting the part. Charo played the Queen of England. God, save the queen! Clay Aiken introduces us to some of the 007 style defensive tools needed to defend the United Kingdom.

Tony Hawk, quite possibly the greatest skater in the history of skateboards, was an enforcer of sorts, in Australia. His ability was put to the test, as he must skate his way across the Sydney Opera House to set it into motion…As a flying defensive mechanism against sharknados, which we all sort of assumed, anyway.

Dan Fogler, who plays Murray Goldberg’s brother on The Goldbergs, plays the part of an interviewee on the xfinity app, while searching for news on the sharknado. While this part may not seem important to the script, xfinity. Xfinity, xfinity, xfinity.

Dolph Lundgren plays Gil, the son of Fin, only in the dystopian future, or something, by turning the vortex of the sharknado into a time machine. With a flux capacitor, or something. He returns to bring Fin back to the future and introduces us to what is sure to be an even better Sharknado 6. Thank you, Dolph.

Geraldo Rivera as Doctor Gerald Angel, the steampunk scientist aboard the giant steampunk zeppelin called the Hindenberg XP-3000, or something like that. Thankfully, Geraldo is able to create the perfect vessel, which lasts for around 2 or 3 minutes. I smell an Emmy!!

Actual footage of Geraldo after a sharknado attack.

Olivia Newton John as Orion, who recreates Tara Reid, yet again, into an even better version of April. Less robotic, more human. There is no shortage of song lyric puns, or purple lipstick.

Downtown Julie Brown, brings our heroes face-to-face with the one man who can bring order to the vortex: Pope Fabio. I’m not sure why Fabio hasn’t played the pope in other movies, but at least SyFy had the good sense to finally realize what we all knew; Fabio makes a great Pope. I smell an Emmy!!

Rock icon Bret Michaels plays Bret Michaels, who plays guitar on the front of a double decker bus. The rocker is able to kill a shark or two with his mad guitar licks, but as the bus is overturned, he is chomped by a shark. His last words will always be remembered, “Ahhh.”

Now you know and you’re better for it. Sharknado 6 is coming. The best thing you can do is be prepared and avoid celebrities at all cost.